Monday, June 14, 2010

Money... Why Does it Have to be Money?

Suffice to say, it is not like we are suffering financially. We basically have enough to pay the bills, the mortgage, groceries, gas, vehicle payments, but we have nothing to live from. What I mean to say is, should we want to take a vacation somewhere, well, there simply isn’t any money for it. What money is saved is usually spent on a debt we already had, or to provide things of need we may not have had the opportunity to do so before hand.

I have been trying to find some way to stay at home, maybe make some money. I have tried setting up a website to advertise my skills as a computer technician, even put out some posters. However, didn’t get anything, not one bite. Then my search turned to the internet. Sadly, everything out there is a scam, nothing is legit. All advertise “Make $10,000 a month!” but really, that isn’t even possible. But why is it so popular? Simply put, I see it as we are money driven in our society.

We work so that we can provide for our family. But when does it end? For some, it ends up being we live to work, instead of work to live. People are slowly finding themselves working 40+ hour weeks. How much is really left for the family once you subtract your sleeping time? For me, it is not enough. When I grew up, my parents didn’t have enough money. My brother and I didn’t get all the fancy toys or brand named clothing. We didn’t go on vacations to Europe or Mexico. In fact, my parents claimed bankruptcy for as long as I can remember. So money was scarce. But there was a difference that was being made. My parents didn’t focus my brother and I on money, but on other things. With home schooling, that allowed my mom to give us the opportunities we might now have had otherwise. Our weekends were rarely spent at home because we would spend it at my grandparent’s farm, 2 ½ hours away. At times this was tiresome, but looking back on it, it was amazing. My brother and I built forts with our cousins, we’d help clean up my grandparent’s farm house and farm, we’d tag along on the quad when my parents helped fenced, was up in the grain truck during harvest time as it was being emptied, and we got to ride in the different kinds of tractors. The list could go on. But do you know what I remember most? It was our family gatherings. We had a Quonset party that I remember hanging onto my grandpa’s scooter as we went around the whole floor. Every New Year’s our whole extended family would get together for toboggan ride near the creek with a massive bonfire and fireworks at midnight. We would have dinner the next day and continue to toboggan. We gathered for every holiday there was. It was an unknowing foundation instilled in me – family is what counts.

So here I am, in a family of my own -- a wonderful loving man, two wonderful children, and a third child on the way. But what is stopping me for trying to even stay home, well, its money. Money is what our world revolves around. It is what everything is based upon. If you don’t have money you don’t excel and achieve in this world. I live in this world, but I am not of this world. I will not let money dictate the fact that family is more important than material things. I assume many might not see eye to eye on that. For some, getting their own house, to the new SUV, to the new 52in LCD flat panel, 3D TV screen is more important. Some may even defend this position. But I am not going to start a debate. If anything perhaps an eye opener for some, and for others they could care less because they simply have the money to do so. But what I am pointing out, is money is the root cause of everything we do. I hate having to live to work. And frankly, I don’t want to work anymore, for it is not appealing in any way. It is a drain on me. I waste so much energy in the workforce for an amount that my family barely makes it by on, just to come home guilty that I am too exhausted and irritated by the day’s events to even spend time with my children. In my eyes, this has to change for me, in my life. And so far, I don’t see a solution or a light at the end of the tunnel.

Life isn’t about what we gain in means of material property; it is about the relationships we make with other people, with our family. I have noticed such a falling out in our morals, which I am sure, will continue to decline. Parents are overworked and nowadays it is a two-working parent family. So what about those of us who want to stay home with our family, who know that they don’t want to be in the workforce? I’m sure we’d get looked down upon by those who think we should be the “I can do everything woman.” And listen, if you are a working parent, then that is awesome. We are each on our own life journey, a path unique to ourselves. Others will want to work and not stay home. But what about those of us who want to stay home and look after the family unit? Could not society help us out instead of continuing to make money the matter of everything?

Sadly, I don’t think society will change, but perhaps I can make a change in my own life to make the dream come true and perhaps encourage others to do the same. We can’t change anyone, only ourselves. And we can only encourage, not force, others to try the same.

I know there is no way a plan will be in place by the time this baby comes. But I hope that by the time I have to go back to work, it is then I hope that something will happen that will make the dream of staying home become a reality. It is what I long to do, I know it is something I could do so well at. It is who I feel I am to be. But again, I wish money wasn’t everything as it is today.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Katie,

    Sadly, you're right. Society worries these days only about money. And what that means for families is not good news. But "they" as a whole do not care.

    I'm a stay at home Mum. And we are dead broke. My husband studies and we live on government funding. Which barely get's us rent and bill's much less enough food or entertainment.

    Like you, growing up we spent time on farms and milking cows. Or camping in free camp sites. Or simply walking through the park together on a regular basis. We went to the pool every single Sunday morning together and that was far more important to me than having the latest SEGA game or bike.

    We chose to live like this and my MIL hates me for it. She thinks I am a lazy Mum because I wont go out and "earn" for the family. But as far as Tim and I are concerned, we are giving Jaxon MORE than money will ever be able to give him. Family.

    I am finding, that more and more mother's want this for their families more than they want the money and possessions.

    Enjoyed reading this post and just wanted to let you know, you're not alone. We're broke, but happy. I hope you find your way of staying home.


    from and December 2010 boards.